


There’s No Way This Will End Well || Peter’s Trip to Stark Industries

by I_Want_Marvel_to_Choke_Me



Series: Peter Parker's Doing His Bestpacito [1]
Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bisexual Peter Parker, Domestic Avengers, Flash Thompson is a dipshit, Fluff and Humor, Gay Harley Keener, Guess what fuckers time for a field trip, Harley is 19, How original, M/M, Morgan is 10 (because i say so), Parker Luck, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is Trying His Best, Peter Parker's Field Trip to Stark Industries, Peter is 18, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Harley Keener, Top Harley Keener
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:35:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 18,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22821088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Want_Marvel_to_Choke_Me/pseuds/I_Want_Marvel_to_Choke_Me
Summary: Peter Parker's class is going on a trip to Stark Industries, courtesy of one Tony Stark and Peter is absolutely dreading it. He knows for a fact that the Avengers won't pass up such an opportunity to embarrass him (and scare the fuck out of his bully Flash).or,,,Another field trip fic, but Harley is very protective over his spider-boyfriend and Shuri has had enough of Flash's shit.
Relationships: Betty Brant/Ned Leeds (background), Harley Keener & Peter Parker, Harley Keener & Peter Parker & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Harley Keener & Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Harley Keener/Peter Parker, Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Pepper Potts & Peter Parker, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Avengers Team, Shuri x OC
Series: Peter Parker's Doing His Bestpacito [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1777753
Comments: 278
Kudos: 2266
Collections: The Best Peter Parker Field Trip Fics, peter parker and his field trips





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first proper attempt at writing a fanfic, so sorry if its terrible lol
> 
> Also posted to Wattpad: @Ryden_Rainbow

Peter woke up that morning to the feeling of soft breaths on the back of his neck and strong muscled arms wrapped around his chest cocooning him in a sense of love and warmth. He opened his eyes just as his boyfriend of three years gently laid kisses upon his morning curls.

“G’morning sweetheart”, spoke a raspy southern drawl which made Peter’s heart flutter every time.

“Morning Harls”, replied Peter slowly turning around in the sheets to face his gorgeous cowboy with the biggest heart eyes known to mankind, but it was okay because Harley’s face held the exact same expression, pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

The two of them took their time getting out of bed and then not so gracefully clambering into the shower together after a few suggestive touches and a raise of eyebrows from the smaller (Peter was very salty about Harley being a whole three inches taller than him, yet then again it just made Harley’s hoodies even comfier if he was honest, but it’s not like he would willingly admit that out loud).

After their combined shower Peter and Harley noticing the time threw on some random clothes they found on the floor from the previous day, Peter not looking to see if the clothes were even his, and rushed to the kitchen for breakfast. Nat was already lounging on a bar stool with her coffee, while Bucky was talking to Steve and Wanda about some issues he was having with his new vibranium arm made curtesy of Princess Shuri of Wakanda, aka Peter’s badass bitch boi.

The four Avengers said their good mornings as the couple sat at the table after each pouring bowls of cereal. Just as Peter began to eat Tony entered the room with his usual bold presence filling the air without even needing to speak a word.

“Morning Dad”, Peter spoke with a mouthful of cheerios. Harley laughed as Tony grimaced and playfully slapped Peter of the back of the head.

“That’s nasty you little shi-”, Tony held his tongue as Pepper entered the room and gave a disapproving look, she had been trying to make Tony swear less as Morgan was starting to pick up on some of his bad language and the last thing Pepper wanted was for her angel was to swear like a sailor before even reaching high school. “Not sure what you’re laughing at problem child” Tony grumbled as he whacked Harley over the back of the head making him cough and spit out his cereal.

Peter snorted as Friday spoke up, “Peter if you don’t want to be late for school you’ll need to get moving” in her Irish accent.

“Oh damn- nO. I mean oh no”, Peter commented just as Pepper’s head whipped up. Peter quickly kissed Harley before standing and sprinting to get his bag from their room.

“See ya later guys!”, Peter shouted through to the kitchen on his way to the elevator hearing responses of ‘have a good day’ and a distinct “love you babe!” shouting back his own “love you too Harls!”.

**/// TIME SKIP ///**

Peter was so incredibly tired by 8th period, he was struggling to stay awake with his eyes drooping every ten seconds. He was wide awake though when Ned started to slap his arm with vigorous intent clearly excited about something he’d missed in his internal fight against falling asleep.

“Can you believe it?! I can’t wait ohmygod oHmy-” Ned squealed, Peter confused and still trying to catch up looked over at MJ who was sat on the other side of Ned. She was just smirking with a knowing look on her face as if she wasn’t going to let on to anything. How helpful.

Looking around the room trying to grasp what everyone was so excited about his eyes accidentally landed on Flash who coincidently was staring right at him with such a smug expression Peter was genuinely concerned for him cause that shit needed a priest, Jesus.

“Yo Penis. I cannot wait for this trip to prove that you’ve been lying and that your internship is as fake as the rumours that Tony “playboy” Stark has a kid”, Flash spoke maliciously.

 _First of all_ , Peter thought, _you don’t know how wrong you are you absolute dipshit._

He didn’t say that out loud though because he didn’t fancy a detention and one of Mr Harrison’s disappointed looks, mostly because he just looked like a sad puppy and that made Peter feel bad. So instead he chose to ignore his bully and figure out what he even meant by that comment.

“Ned, what are you on about where is the trip?”

Ned gave him a another excited expression “We’re going to Stark Industries Peter!!”.

Just like that he thought he was going into cardiac arrest. His entire class was going on a trip to basically his house, the avengers where totally going to embarrass the fuck outa him and they will all find out that Tony and Pepper Stark are his adopted parents (they adopted him after May died two years ago). Worst case scenario everyone was going to find out he was Spider-Man and he would have to make a public statement and move to Peru or Tony could threaten his lawyers but he was certain someone would slip up anyway.

**To Harley <3:** Babe im quaking I need he lp

 **From Harley <3:** What’s wrong darling??

 **To Harley <3:** my class is going on a fucking field trip to the tower tf??!?!! Why does this always happen to mehehe

 **From Harley <3:** pahhaha Parker Luck™ strikes again

 **To Harley <3:** that’s not the support I was looking for babe

Peter put his phone in his pocket just as the bell rang and shoved his stuff into his bag untidily before standing up, Ned still babbling non-stop about the trip on Friday.

“Hold on class, make sure you take a permission slip before you leave and have it signed by a guardian and back before Friday morning or else you will not be attending”.

Just as they were leaving Ned grabbed his slip from Mr Harrington, while Peter tried to slip past unnoticed but MJ stopped him and shoved the slip into his hand which he then buried at the bottom of his bag where no one would find it… hopefully.

The three friends walked to their lockers, as Peter finished throwing everything he needed into his backpack he shut his locker and his phone buzzed.

 **From Harley <3: **You know I love and support everything you do sweetheart I just think this is absolutely hilarious and very typical ;) <3

 **To Harley <3:** :( <3

“Penis!”, Peter didn’t even need his sixth sense to know which articulate fuck nugget yelled that.

“Yes Flash? Really don’t you have someone else to bother, like your English tutor maybe? Poor guys probably waiting” Peter retorted. Yes he shouldn’t rise to Flash’s taunts but he had had a really long day and he was tired from his patrol last night (or should he say morning) lasting a lot longer than he would have liked. Peter just wanted to go home and cuddle with Harley on the couch until he fell asleep in his beautiful boyfriends strong tanned arms with Harley whispering sweet nothings, okay yeah he had to stop right now.

“You’re gonna pay for that, Penis. On Friday, if you even bother to show up, everyone’s gonna see for themselves that you’ve been lying about your fake internship all along. Why would Stark even want a stupid nobody like you? You’re a fucking charity case”, Flash laughed.

“Put a fucking cork in it, Eugene. No one likes you anyway and frankly the obsession you have with Peter’s genitals is rather pervy so knock it off before I file a restraining order on his behalf you creepy bitch canoe” yelled MJ from the opposite side of the hallway loud enough for any stragglers to hear her loud and clear if the various snickers were anything to go by.

Flash went bright red as he turned to Peter and spoke in a low voice “this isn’t over”, and true to his name, hurried down the hallway in a flash.

Peter felt his phone vibrate with a message from Happy telling him to hurry up or he’ll leave without him so he said his goodbyes to his friends and a thank you to MJ with promises to talk to them later on regarding the dreaded field trip and swiftly made his way to Happy outside who was parked in a black Audi, yes very discrete (then again technically it is the most ‘normal’ car that Tony owns).

“Hey kid”, Happy spoke as Peter climbed in the backseat, “how was school?”.

“Hey Happy, pretty boring”, he started telling Happy all about his day on the drive home to the tower purposely missing out about the trip while putting on a forced smile even though he was beyond tired.

“Peter, you sure you’re okay? I can tell something’s up”, Peter just insisted that he was fine an Happy made a mental note to make Tony find out what was wrong with his kid.

They got to the tower and Happy parked in the garage, Peter got out and shouted a “Thanks Happy, see you later” and strolled to the elevator alone as Happy had some errands to run. Once Peter was out of sight he instantly made a call to Tony to tell him about Peter like the good uncle that he is.

**/// TIME SKIP ///**

“Hello Peter, welcome back. I hope you had a good day?” Friday greeted Peter as he entered the elevator and she automatically took him up to the common area.

“Hi Friday, it was interesting I gotta say. Where’s Harley right now?” Peter asked tiredly.

“Harley is currently getting out of the shower on your floor, would you like me to inform him you’ve asked for him?”

Peter’s brain short circuited for a moment as the image of a very naked and dripping wet Harley entered his mind, let’s just say he was a little more awake than he was before.

He shook his head slightly and answered with a mumbled “no it’s okay thanks Friday” just as the elevator doors opened to the common area where Clint, Sam and Shuri were playing Wii Sports Bowling.

“That’s fucking BACKWARDS CLINTON. YOU DON’T SWING A BOWLING BALL BACKWARDS. Fucking Americans, you finna kill somebody” Shuri exclaimed not noticing Peter had entered yet.

“I’m a bad bitch you can’t kill mE!!” Peter yelled cupping his around his mouth to make him louder.

Shuri’s head whipped around at the sound of one of her best friends and replied with an ecstatic “WELCOME TO CHILIS” right before she dived over the back of the couch and tackled Peter into a hug. Shuri hadn’t visited in over 2 months and they had missed each other, Shuri had also missed Ned, MJ, Harley and her girlfriend Leah who was an engineering intern at Stark Industries, they’d met one day when working in the labs and hit it off, they’d been dating now for about 6 months.

“When where you planning on telling me you were visiting?” Peter asked excitedly walking to the kitchen for a snack where they found Natasha once again pouring herself a coffee, she gave Peter a cuddle and a kiss on the head when she saw him and then left the room promptly as she did not want to be dragged into a million vine references again, once was enough for her.

“I would have told you sooner but I was only told this morning about the impromptu visit. I thought I came to just help with Bucky’s arm after he wouldn’t stop complaining but apparently Stark also needs reinforcements for some field trip?”

Peter groaned and began screaming internally for like the 5th time today. He should have known his dad was behind this. Peter felt betrayed. How petty does a man have to be? Just because Peter stole Tony’s last cupcake (said tin can really likes his cupcakes) doesn’t mean he has to arrange the end of Peter’s life. Wait that’s dramatic, the end of his social life maybe. Pfff wait what social life?

**/// TIME SKIP ///**

After talking and catching up with Shuri, mostly complaining about Friday’s trip from hell, Peter thought it was about time to find Harley leaving Shuri (who called him a Gay disaster) with Sam and Clint as he found her.

“Friday where’s Harley now?” Peter asked looking into the nearest camera on the ceiling.

“Harley is in your shared lab at present Peter. Would you like me to take you there?” Friday spoke as Peter stepped into the elevator. “Yes please, Thanks Fri”.

The doors opened and Peter was greeted with a site that made his mouth go dry. His gorgeous boyfriend was in a tank top covered in grease from the machines that Harley had obviously been tinkering with, showing off his chest and muscles.

 _He’s done that on purpose_ Peter thought, _he knows exactly what he’s doing._

“Hello darling,” Harley spoke when he turned around, making his way towards Peter.

“Hey Tennessee, what’ve you been up to today?” Peter spoke in a low voice putting his bag down by his work table and sitting on his swivel chair.

“Not much, been thinkin about your trip though” he laughed going in to hug his smaller boyfriend (never gonna stop being salty about that).

“Nope! Nah uh you’re not touching me until you’re clean mister!” Peter tried. Harley simply shrugged and took off his top. “This better, Darl?” He spoke slowly with a smirk. Yep he knew what he was doing because all Peter could do was nod pathetically as Harley leaned in to kiss him, lifting him up into his arms. Shuri was right, he is one massive gay disaster.

Just as things where about to get even more interesting (wink wink nudge nudge) Friday called the two boys for dinner with the rest of their Avengers family.

They each sighed. Harley put on a shirt and held out his hand to Peters and kissed his knuckles.

“To be continued later” he whispered making Peter shudder.

They then walked to the elevator and went to dinner hand in hand.


	2. Chapter 2

All of the Avengers that currently resided in the tower (this included Pepper, Morgan, Harley, and his Uncle Rhodey) were sat at together eating Tai that Tony had ordered in around the kitchen table.

Shuri was sat at one end of the large table talking to Bucky about the upgrades she had made to his vibranium arm; she had briefly mentioned earlier that her brother T’Challa was in the city having meetings with some allies as well as checking up on one of his recent projects which didn’t interest Shuri (mainly she wanted a front row seat to the shit show that was inevitably going to go down on Friday).

Harley and Peter were sat next to each other on the opposite end of the table, the two smiling at each other every so often as they ate their food quietly (for once). Harley’s hand was rested on Peter’s thigh making him feel grounded after his mentally tiring day. But it wasn’t over yet.

“So маленький паук, when were you planning on telling us about your field trip to the tower on Friday?” Natasha spoke calmly lifting up Peter’s evil permission slip passing it straight to Pepper who had been watching Tony with amusement as he was trying to reason with Morgan that if she eats her veggies then she will be able to spend all day in the lab tomorrow. She shook her head smiling and took the slip signing it with the pen Nat had conveniently handed her.

Peter was watching the exchange and felt his heart rate pick up. He really wanted to avoid this situation at all costs. Harley noticed his boyfriend’s sudden change due to their connected watches that tell the other of their partner’s vitals all the time; this comes in handy for them as a result of Peter’s extracurricular activities and Harley beginning his training in his own Iron armour.

The southern boy squeezed Peter’s thigh in reassurance silently asking if he was okay, to which the latter looked up and smiled slightly nodding.

“Uhm, wh-where did you find that Тетя таша?” Peter asked nervously attempting to sound unfazed but failing miserably.

“Oh it was just on the top of your bag and I thought ‘hey that looks important, better not let it get too creased’” Natasha smiled with a shit eating grin. Peter internally screaming knew for a fact that the master assassin had gone digging through his bag to find said permission slip, that he had hid all the way at the bottom under his suit, right after hearing him complaining to Shuri about it in the kitchen earlier.

“Wait a second. Peter’s class is coming here? As in here here??” Clint began to cackle like a witch on ketamine as he realised what that meant.

“YES. My entire class is coming here on Friday so I really would appreciate it if you guys wouldn’t embarrass me, please?” he knew that his pleads were a waste of breath as each and every avenger around the table began to formulate ideas and plans that would surely not end well at all.

Even Morgan was joining in with the scheming to which Peter had never felt so betrayed by his precious little shit of a shister.

Harley laughed at their antics putting his arm around a pouting Peter’s waist in a sort of half cuddle, promising to rein them all in if they go over the top ( _which they certainly will,_ Peter thought) while making his own silent vows to kick Flash’s ass if he towed one foot out of line.

**TIME SKIP**

Later on Peter was in Tony’s main lab working on his homework at his work table with his earphones in trying his best to concentrate on his Chemistry equations and not get distracted by his Tennessee boi who was tinkering with his Iron suit in that grease covered tank top once again ( _oof_ ).

Just as he finished filling in the paper for his Chemistry teacher he felt a tap on his shoulder than almost made him jump on the ceiling, _almost._

Honestly it was unfair how Peter’s spidey sense ignored Tony deciding that he was not a cause for threat meaning that he could not sense his every move when entering the room. This was the same for the select few people that Peter trusted wholeheartedly: Tony, Harley, MJ, Ned, Pepper and Morgan. Though it was different for Morgan and Harley as it was a more protective instinct than trust meaning they were able to jump scare him but somewhere in the back of his head there was a distinct connection to the two of them individually.

This meant that Tony was able to get a good scare out of Peter before dragging over a swivel chair from another work bench giggling to himself the whole way. Yes Tony Stark giggling. Like a little girl.

“So,” Tony started as he composed himself, “Happy tells me there was something up with you earlier after school. You wanna tell me about it, Pete?”

In one way he was glad that Tony genuinely cared about how Peter was doing and such, however it was not like he could tell Tony straight about Flash with the news of the trip that Flash will definitely be attending, especially after he promised that Flash had calmed down since Tony found out about his bullying problems last time. So, he’d just have to stretch the truth a little.

“I’m just nervous about Friday, I mean what if everyone finds out that it’s not just an internship? What if someone slips up about Spider-Man?” Peter said quickly covering his real worries as Harley lifted his head as if he knew that wasn’t the whole truth though he kept quiet.

“Peter, son, don’t go worrying yourself about that, if it happens we will cross that bridge when we get to it but for now I’d just be concerned about Shuri’s plan to ‘ambush you when you’re at your weakest’ whatever that means” Tony laughed at Peter’s expression as he ruffled his hair and then retreated to his work station across the lab.

Peter let out a breath announcing (really to Harley) that he was going to go out for an early patrol to clear his head. Harley stood and walked over to Peter to give him a deep kiss, Tony shouting about PDA rules in his sanctuary, each saying ‘I love you’.

Peter smiled as he tapped in a code on his watch, his Iron Spider suit revealed itself and wrapped around his form and Peter sprinted leaping out of the open window swinging off through the city.

**TIME SKIP**

It was around 11:30 when Peter crawled in through his and Harley’s shared bedroom window. He’d decided to call it a night much earlier than the previous due to tiredness becoming an issue making his reflexes a lot slower than he would have liked, meaning a gang of armed muggers got in a few good hits to his ribs.

As he gracefully flopped onto their soft carpeted floor (praise the lord for small miracles) he noticed that Harley was still awake in bed watching him with growing amusement and fondness.

“You alright, baby?” Harley chuckled as Peter retracted his suit back into his watch standing up and then collapsing onto the bed with an “ _oof_ ”.

“Long night” Peter mumbled into the mattress.

“Long day” Harley said lowly carding a hand through Peter’s curls like he had that morning.

Peter groaned as Harley gently lifted him up into a cuddle which he melted into. _Those abs may me rock solid but they sure are comfy_ , Peter thought to himself. Or he thought he thought it. Harley whispering that he was an idiot suggested otherwise, but he was too tired to care.

“C’mon darling lets get you changed”

Harley helped Peter into his soft night clothes after inspecting his ribs that were already healing. The two boys then got under the covers and Friday turned out the lights without having to even be asked.

As Peter drifted of to sleep in the arms of his cowboy he had no thoughts whatsoever of the impending trip of doom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this was satisfactory lmao, I promise the actual field trip will start next chapter :)
> 
> маленький паук = little spider  
> Тетя таша = Aunt Tasha


	3. Chapter 3

On Friday morning Peter woke up to the sound of his alarm blaring from his Stark phone (he was surprised that no one at school had picked up yet on the fact that his advanced model hadn’t even been released to the public and likely never would be), he rolled over to turn off the loud noise and noticed that he was alone in bed. It was unusual for Harley to be up and awake before Peter so feeling the cold half of the bed just increased his anxiety for the day ahead.

Suddenly Peter remembered that he needed to be at school earlier than usual in order for the whole class to be registered. At this thought he leapt out of bed and headed for the shower, momentarily forgetting Harley’s suspicious behaviour.

After his quick shower he rushed to find some clothes to wear choosing a worn pair of black skinny jeans and a hoodie that was slung over the back of a comfy chair, not stopping to notice that this was most definitely Harley’s hoodie and it had his name printed on the back in bold letters.

The young Avenger grabbed his bag and made his way to the kitchen where he found his missing boyfriend, Morgan, Rhodey, and Pepper.

“Good morning Peter, looking forward to your trip?” Rhodey spoke with a smirk. Just when he thought that his Uncle might be on his side his dreams were crushed in five words.

Peter gave a sarcastic laugh as he reached for an apple on the counter next to where Harley was perched engrossed in his Stark Pad looking up momentarily to kiss his boyfriend and then going straight back to whatever was so important.

Peter slightly baffled at the lack of attention announced he was going to be late right after ruffling Morgan’s hair and heading to the elevator. As usual he heard the yelled goodbyes and his “Love you darling, see you soon” followed by a stifled laugh from Pepper.

 _That was strange_ , Peter thought shaking his head putting it to the back of his mind as he took a bite out of his apple while Friday closed the elevator doors taking him down to the lobby.

**TIME SKIP**

Peter was in a hurry that morning, not because he actually wanted to go on this trip but because he needed to make sure he was sat by Ned and MJ so that he could ignore Flash’s taunts easier with their support.

It turns out that for once luck was on his side as he arrived just in time and seconds before Flash, so he, Ned and MJ took their seats in the back corner of the bus while Flash and his friends were forced to sit further forward. Even though they were out of physical reach that didn’t mean Peter couldn’t escape Flash’s snide remarks thanks to his enhanced hearing (a blessing and a curse).

“Oh my god I can’t wait!” Ned kept repeating visibly vibrating with excitement.

“Ned, you’ve literally been to the tower 100 times, why are you so excited?” Peter questioned quietly not wanting to draw unwanted attention.

“I know but it’s still _the Avengers Tower,_ How are you not excited?! We’re gonna see the museum!” Ned explained just as quietly.

“You’ve met pretty much all the Avengers. They know you” Peter deadpanned.

“Yeah, but I’ve never been on the tour before Peter, what if there’s a Spider-Man exhibit!” Ned whispered shouted the last part and Peter knew this was a losing battle.

He turned around for any sort of backup from MJ but she just snorted and whispered “I’ve been looking forward to this all week loser”.

In that moment he realised that MJ was in on whatever plans the team had formulated. _Oh there is no way this will end well,_ Peter thought giving her a nervous look before turning back around tapping his watch to access Karen before muttering “Karen remind me to jump out the nearest window without my webs at the first sight of any Avengers”, to which all he got was an amused “Peter _no_ ”.

Peter just sighed and hunched forward in his chair rubbing circles on his temples.

“Hey loser, if you’re trying to be discrete and yada yada yada you probably shouldn’t have worn your boyfriend’s Stark Industries Employee hoodie” MJ stated leaning forward with her arms draped over the back of Peter’s seat as he mentally face palmed for being so stupid in his rush that morning. 

Sooner than Peter would have liked the bus arrived at the tower. His whole class, besides himself and MJ who was barely fazed by anything (it was mildly concerning), were gazing out of the windows in awe of the giant structure. Peter was thoroughly shitting it.

“So Penis are you gonna be giving us the tour since you work here or are they just gonna turn you away as soon as we walk trough the doors cause you wreak of lies?” Flash snickered high-fiving one of his friends.

“Enough Eugene there will be none of that today. I’m sure they will reiterate inside but I’ll tell you now Stark Industries has a strict no bullying policy so I trust you will all be on your best behaviours” Mr Harrington spoke tiredly, poor man needs a break.

Everyone began to pile off of the bus and followed Mr Harrington into the lobby area where he left them in the centre of the room staring around at the expensive but modest lobby (all designed by Pepper of course) as he went to go speak to the receptionist about the tour guide. Honestly Peter knew this place like the back of his hand, he could probably make his way around blindfolded.

Mr Harrington came walking back to the group with a young girl with vibrant pink hair also wearing a Stark Industries employee hoodie, Peter instantly recognised this girl as Leah, or Shuri’s girlfriend.

“Hello Midtown, my names Leah’s and I am an intern here at Stark Industries. I am going to be your tour guide today so I will be showing you around a few of the labs where you will do some activities that you will hopefully enjoy” she spoke with a smile and an strong English accent.

The class where just nodding along to the introduction that Leah was giving talking about the rules and such, also mentioning the strict no bullying rule stating that anyone caught bullying is given a warning and then removed from the premises by security.

“Right,” she clapped to get everyone’s attention, “we will start with the Avengers museum, but first I will hand out the security badges. Our head of security is very adamant that everyone in the building wear these at all times, of course unless you live here and your biometrics are in the system, but otherwise you keep the badge visible or you’re kicked out. Understand?”

There was a chorus of nods and yes’ from the students and Leah began to call out the names for the badges. Peter took his badge out of his bag and put it around his neck (even though he was in the system he didn’t want everyone knowing he lived here as well as worked here), Ned and MJ doing the same.

“Okay, is that everyone?” Leah called out.

“Miss those three didn’t get badges, does that mean they have to leave?” Flash said hopefully.

“Oh guys I didn’t see you there,” Leah smiled at them, they knew her pretty well due to Shuri but they didn’t see her as often as they’d like to at the moment because she was so busy with deadlines and other projects. “You three have your badges with you?” They all lifted their badges to show her, Flash’s mouth gaping.

“Okie dokie, you all need to scan your badges to enter, like this” she pressed her badge onto the scanner and walked through the barrier.

“Leah Skotnicki Engineering Intern Beta level 4” Friday said scaring the shit out of all the students that had yet to hear her.

“Who was that?!” Betty asked.

“That’s Friday, she’s one of Tony Stark’s AIs, she basically runs the entire building and she’s pretty much become a sentient being at this point not gonna lie. So if any of you do anything wrong she’ll almost deffo grass on you”

Peter wasn’t sure if Leah was part of the master plan or if she was just bored and wanted to scare his class, either way their faces were priceless.

It was Abe that spoke up asking about what the different badge levels meant after Flash pushed to the front of the group to be the first through the gate, Friday announcing his entry “Eugene Thompson Tour Visitor Omega level 2”

“Okay so, Omega 1 is press, Omega 2 is tours, Beta 1 is first floor employees who don’t work above the elevator, Beta 2 are the janitors, Beta 3 are interns, Beta 4 are normal employees and high level interns such as myself, Alpha 1 are high up employees that work directly with Mr and Mrs Stark and/or Avengers, Alpha 2 are Avengers and friends/family that don’t live at the tower, Alpha 3 is the Avengers that live here, and Alpha 4 is Mr and Mrs Stark as well as their two personal interns” Leah explained as the class where scanned through one at a time.

MJ and Ned each walked through the scanner Friday announcing their entries as “Alpha level 2”. If the expressions of the students and Mr Harrington were anything to go by Peter wanted to do a full 180 and power walk straight out those pristine doors.

He craved the sweet release of death as his classmates stared him down when Friday’s Irish accent announced “Peter Parker Personal Intern Alpha level 4. Welcome home Peter, I wasn’t aware that’d you’d be back so soon shall I inform the boss or Potato boy? Shouldn’t you be in school?”

“No no Friday that’s alright please don’t it’s okay I’m on a field trip” Peter hurriedly said looking into the nearest camera giving a half smile.

“Okaaaay then,” Leah said trying to gain the classes attention again, “onto the museum then” directing them all to the larger elevators so they could all remain as a group.

Leah held back and gave a sympathetic pat to Peter’s arm (it would have been his head but it’s not like all 5’2 of her could reach that high lol someone give this mess some stilts), entering the elevator last.

The doors opened to the museum and Leah announced that the could spend 20 minutes looking at the exhibits and this was the only floor they were permitted to take pictures on.

As the students began to race around looking at all of the main Avengers old suits and (disabled) weapons Ned immediately dragged Peter to the Spider-Man exhibit taking photos of it and reading Peter’s ‘fun facts’.

“I cannot believe you’re afraid of spiders, I mean is that even allowed?” MJ said over his shoulder before walking off on her own to see the Black Widow exhibit, Natasha and MJ were a terrifying pair because of how well they got on, it was even scarier when Pepper joined the two. The three of them were an unstoppable force and could easily take over the world before breakfast.

Flash must have realised at this moment that Peter was wearing a similar employee hoodie of his own and decided that now was the best time to speak up seeing that MJ had moved away (he wouldn’t admit it to anyone but MJ scared him).

“Hey Penis, if you’re trying to make your fake internship believable you probably shouldn’t have stolen that hoodie. It’s not even got your name on it” Flash called over from the other side of the group.

Peter was doing his best to ignore him and look even a little bit interested at the exhibit when Flash piped up not finished yet.

“Who the fuck is Harley Keener anyway?” Flash taunted stepping into Peter’s personal space.

Peter could feel his blood boil practising the breathing techniques that Bruce had taught him after May died.

“That would be me douche blossom”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this fic:
> 
> Peter is 18   
> Harley is 19   
> Shuri is 18  
> Leah is 19  
> Ned is 18  
> MJ is 18  
> (Basically assume the whole class is either 17 or 18)

Peter had never been more pleased to see Harley instantly feeling more at ease, especially since he sounded frighteningly angry and it was directed at Flash.

Flash clearly startled took a small step back, and then another when he saw who had actually spoken. All 6’1 of Harley Keener was towering intimidatingly over Flash. He was wearing a tight black shirt which exposed his muscles hiding nothing and a pair of blue ripped skinny jeans, this outfit made Peter a little hot under the collar but that’s not what’s important right now.

“So you must be the ass waffle who calls himself Flash” Harley spoke glaring directly at Flash.

“Yeah,” Flash gulped straightening his posture attempting to look more confident than he clearly was, “what’s it to you?”

Harley just stepped forward smiling and said “ **You** are gonna listen to me now and take notes. Stay far _far_ away from Peter we shouldn’t have a problem, _Eugene_ ”

Flash just huffed giving Peter a look that said ‘you’re dead when he leaves’ and walked back over to his friends who had abandoned him as soon as Harley turned up.

“Hey baby you alright? Your heart rate went up so fast I came as quick as I could” reaching out to hold Peter’s hands pulling him round the corner to talk out of sight. Ned being the fantastic guy in the chair that he is silently took watch covering for them by the nearby White Wolf exhibit.

“I’m fine, thanks for coming Harls. Flash just really knows how to get under my skin y’know?” Peter sighed leaning into his boyfriends embrace.

Harley rubbed his back pulling away a little to look him in the eye.

“I’ll stay with you the rest of the trip, Darling. I don’t want Flash to have a chance to get anywhere near you if that’s okay?” Harley whispered stroking his cheek.

“That’d be amazing thank you” Peter pulled Harley into a kiss just as Ned tapped on the wall saying that Leah said it’s time to move on.

Peter and Harley laughed at Ned’s hesitance to turn the corner in case he saw something that would make him need to bleach his eyeballs. _Please_ , Peter thought, _it’s not like I haven’t walked in on you and Betty making out like a thousand times._

Making their way back over to the group Peter and Ned stayed to the back of the group where MJ came to join them, Harley heading to the front to speak to Leah about tagging along. Peter thought it was a bit odd that MJ appeared from the opposite direction to where the class had been looking at the exhibits as if she had left the room and snuck back in going unnoticed by everyone apart from Peter (sneak 100). This troubled an already anxious Peter, honestly he’d be surprised if he made it through this whole trip without having a nervous breakdown by the end.

“Where have you been?”

“Whatever do you mean?” MJ replied in the same hushed tone.

“I know you’re a part of this godawful plan” Peter hissed.

“Not at all young Peter, I simply left to attend the lavatory” she grinned evilly frightening Peter.

Yeah he was just gonna leave it at that. He turned back to face the front of the group in time for Leah to begin talking again.

“Alright lads I’ve got a quick announcement before we carry on with the tour, this is Harley Keener and he will be taking over the tour from here on out. I’ll still be following but I am currently needed in the labs, so I’ll see you guys later. Please give Harley the same respect that you’ve shown me” Leah smiled looking over at Peter winking. She then patted Harley on the back muttering a “good luck, mate” and leaving the room.

“So Midtown, like Leah said I’m Harley Keener. I am one of the two personal interns of Tony Stark and I also work with many of the engineers here, such as Leah” Harley spoke in his southern accent laying it on thicc making pretty much all the girls in the group (and a couple of boys) swoon, of course this was except MJ (because she’s a leeesbiaaann). Peter just snorted loud covering the noise with a fake cough.

“Okay we have time for y’all to ask a couple questions before we move on” He said pointing to Abe who put his hand up in record time.

“How old are you?”

“I’m 19. So is Leah, we both graduated early and we’re attending MIT online through the help of Stark Industries”

He pointed to Betty next as she asked, “I saw you talking to Peter, do you know him?”

“Yes I do, he’s my boyfriend and he’s also Tony Stark’s other personal intern”

This statement made everyone gape like a fish at this; Peter didn’t know which shocked them more, I mean its not like he hasn’t told them already. He could see Flash in peripheral vision almost growling, _that’s like not right_ , Peter thought half expecting Flash to turn into the Hulk.

Some girl who wasn’t very good at whispering expressed her disappointment to her friend at the news of Harley not being straight to which everyone with functional ears heard.

“hah yeah sorry guys I’m off limits and very gay” he laughed finding Peter’s eyes who was silently giggling to himself.

There were about three more questions asked that were either about Peter or the Avengers which Harley answered briefly not giving too much away.

After this the group piled into the elevator to make their way up to the labs. Harley and Peter entered last holding hands. At this they heard some quiet ‘oh my god their adorable’, ‘holy shit a new ship has entered the harbour’, and ‘I wish I had a boyfriend’. All of these made the two boys smile. The idea of Flash scowling in the back corner also put a big smile on Peter’s face.

Friday opened the elevator doors and Harley lead the group to the doors of the first lab scanning his ID to let them class and Mr Harrington enter.

“Harley Keener Personal Intern Alpha level 4. Hello Potato boy” Friday spoke in amusement.

There were a few snickers from the students while Harley sighed as they walked through the open door, Peter smirked as Harley whacked him over the back of the head with love and then subtly smacking Peter’s ass making him jump. Before Peter could respond he began talking to the class about the rules inside the lab, basically don’t touch anything or there will be serious repercussions etc.

They walked further into the lab where they spotted Leah coming back over (she didn’t really have urgent work to do but she was included in the masterplan in which Harley takes over, technically she didn’t have to stay but she wanted to watch the shit go down). She waved a hello to the group and fell to the back near Peter, Ned and MJ.

Just as Peter thought everything was going normal there was a screech and a “IS THAT BRUCE BANNER?” “OH MY JESUS” “THE MOST RENOWNED SCIENTIST OF OUR GENERATION” MR DR BANNER SIR I HAVE YOUR POSTER ABOVE MY BED” “OMGOMGOMGOMG-“ “IM SWEATING. CINDY, IM SWEATING”.

Bruce looked up at all the commotion blushing awkwardly at all of the attention and not knowing what to do since all the questions and fangirling was directed at himself and not the Hulk.

“uh hi guys you must be the Midtown tour group” he said standing up from his experiment and walking to stand next to Harley.

They were in the lab all of five minutes before there was an explosion somewhere in the back of the large room.

Peter knew all of the interns on the bio-chem levels as he came down to help them a lot when they were stuck with equations or he just wanted to hang out with them as they were all just sleep deprived borderline insane scientists in their early twenties. So he simply raised his eyebrows as Dante screeched along the floor in his Heelys wielding a fire extinguisher in such a way it would make Thor proud. “WHERE IS MINI STARK WHEN WE NEED HIM” one of the other interns nearly cried, Billie (another intern) calmly laid on the floor chanting “take me God, it’s my time”.

Bruce turned to Peter and gestured for him to go help the three interns mid-mental breakdown while he carried on talking about his different projects – it wasn’t like anyone was paying 100% attention though because they were watching Peter who just solved the equations preventing the explosions which literally made Dante pick him up and spin him around.

Peter laughed returning to the group all the students apart from Flash looking at him in amazement while he just awkwardly ducked his head down and moved to his position near the back, Flash sneering as he passed him.

Bruce finished talking to the group and moved back to his work station as the group were about to leave the far door slid open. In burst Shuri like a hurricane with a megaphone of all things yelling “FISH ARE FRIENDS NOT FOOD BRUCIE” directed at Bruce who had sat down to eat his sushi in peace. Or not.

“Who the hell are you?!” Flash questioned clearly he had had enough of all these interruptions to the tour.

“ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” she drew out waltzing up to Flash. Mr Harrington had to use the bathroom while this was happening so nothing was stopping Shuri from getting all up in his grill (I didn’t invite you to my BBQ so why you all up in my grill?).

“I take it this is the pea brained imbecile?”

“That would be the twat nugget yes babe” replied Leah.

“and the plot McThickens™ eh heh heh heh… WATCHYOBACK” she whispered staring him dead in the eye slowly backing out of the room.

No one really knew what to do after that encounter, even Leah looked disturbed, so they just sort of looked at Harley for guidance confused as hell.

“Uh okay lets carry on…?” he spoke nodding to himself. He was sure Shuri had a plan of her own or something cause no one warned him about the exorcist joining their Christian Minecraft server.

The next stop was the cafeteria which was 3 floors above the labs they just visited. The group was waiting for the elevator when Peter heard a noise from the vents.

Groaning to himself he turned to Ned, “look up in 3, 2, 1”

All of a sudden they heard a yelled “BOMBS AWAY MOTHERFUCKERS” as Clint erupt from the air vent above them dressed in his suit complete with the bow and arrow landing centimetres in front of Flash’s terrified face.

Poor Abe nearly shat himself.

“Hey Pete! You forgot your lunch, Tony told me to give it to you” Clint said loudly. _Super spy my ass,_ Peter thought.

“Yes I’m sure he did. Thanks birdbrain” Peter answered gritting his teeth smiling.

“Peter! That’s no way to speak to an adult! Apologise now” Mr Harrington scolded apologising profusely for Peter’s attitude.

“Ah that’s quite alright teach, you see I’m the cool uncle right Pete?”

“If you say so”

“He means yes, he gets confused sometimes” smiling a little on the side of manic but that’s just Clint.

“Sup, Tennessee” he greeted Harley said a short “Hi Clint”.

“You guys good with Chinese tonight? It was gonna be Vision cooking but I think everyone within a mile radius protested against that one” Clint asked, the couple nodded after each grimacing at the memory of Vision’s last attempt at dinner. Lets just say it was a ‘no’ from everyone.

Clint left back the way he came, via the vents and when he was gonna the students exploded with questions.

“Holy shit balls that was Hawkeye?!!”

“You know Hawkeye?! Which other Avengers do you know?!”

“Why are you eating dinner with the Avengers? Do you do that often?”

“What is your life Peter omg”

Peter was visibly overwhelmed so MJ piped up so Harley could take him to one side to calm him.

“Have you idiots not been paying attention? Of course Peter knows the Avengers. Everyone who we’ve seen so far have basically confirmed that he’s one of Stark’s personal interns. If you don’t believe it at this point you’re not just dumb, you’re stupid too”

After Harley made sure Peter was okay he took everyone up to the Cafeteria. It was quiet on the way there besides a few whispers meaning Peter’s head stopped pounding so much.

They arrived at the Cafeteria and Harley told the group that they had 40 minutes to eat their lunch and then they would be going somewhere that is not normally on the average Stark Industries tour.

This excited the teenagers and they all but ran to buy and eat their lunch so they could carry on sooner.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if there’s spelling mistakes I got a 4 in my English GCSEs lmao

Peter was sat alone at one of the tables next to the cafeteria’s massive floor to ceiling windows staring out watching the ant sized cars below passing by while waiting for his friends and boyfriend to return with their own food from the other side of the large spacious room.

Jinxing himself Peter allowed himself to believe that everything would be alright and nothing terrible would happen during their lunch time slot. He spoke (thought) too soon as Flash somehow materialised in front of Peter without him even noticing. _Goddamn dodgy_ _Spidey sense_ Peter thought.

“What the fuck Penis there is no way Hawkeye actually knows you. How much did you pay him? Oh no wait you’re too poor for that. You must have done it another way. Do your knees hurt?”

Peter felt mortified by that accusation and had to restrain himself from actually punching Flash in the face. But that didn’t stop Harley. Good thing Mr Harrison had once again left the room to find the bathroom (poor man probably has a bladder problem).

The memory was on a constant repeat in Peter’s mind as Harley spun Flash around to face him with all the force of a storm and absolutely decked the asshole of a boy.

“I thought I told you to stay away from Peter you dipshit?”

The room went completely silent. Then Leah starting cheering and clapping hysterically shouting “GO ON KEENER WE STAN A LEGEND”

With that all of the students began shouting their own cheers.

By the time all the chaos had died down Flash had gotten up bright red in the face and walked straight up to Leah.

“What happened to the strict no bullying policy? I just got assaulted by that dick!” Flash demanded.

“You are not being serious are you, Eugene? You got exactly what you deserved you colossal shit unit. You’re lucky you’re not been removed from the building yet after how you’ve been treating a Stark Industries employee” MJ laughed (yes MJ actually laughed because this was just too funny).

Just as Flash shockingly (it’s a shock he was still standing after that verbal beat down) opened his mouth to start arguing Mr Harrington re-entered the Cafeteria asking “What’s going on here then?”

The whole class stayed quiet as MJ, Harley and Leah shouted “Nothing!” each going to all sit back around the table with Peter.

Mr Harrington shrugged going to get his own food everyone leaving and ignoring Flash stood seething in the middle of the room.

**TINY TIME SKIP (LIKE 20 MINS)**

There was about 20 minutes left of the groups lunch break. Peter was basically sat on Harley who was sneakily giving him Peter the food he ‘bought for himself’ as he needed to eat more than the average human after the spider bite boosted his metabolism through the roof. MJ was showing Leah her sketches from the day so far – most of them where of Peter praying for the ground to open and swallow him and also Flash just being the angrier gremlin that he usually is. Ned and Betty were chatting about their date that they had planned for the weekend.

The group heard a muffled shriek all looking up as a 10 year old Morgan came barrelling into Peter’s side causing him to “ _oof_ ”.

“Hiiiiiii nerds! Hiiiii nerds’ friends!” She spoke clearly on some sort of sugar high.

“Morguna, what are you doing here?!” Peter exclaimed worriedly shoving the girl under the table as she giggled. The little Stark was not known to the public so the group did their best to hide her.

“I’m playing hide and speak with Wanda, but she doesn’t know that yet shhhhhhhh” she whispered again excitedly putting her finger to her lips lying down on the floor (the floors in the Avenger’s tower were virtually spotless so she wasn’t about to contract the Corona Virus don’t worry lads).

Peter and Harley fondly shook their heads as Wanda elegantly entered the room going unnoticed by the students due to her civilian clothing. She spotted the friends and wandered over to them with all the grace of a super spy ( _Clint should take lessons_ ).

 _Brilliant another Avenger joins the party, at least Wanda had the decency to wear a disguise_ , Peter thought.

“Hey guys, have you seen Mo?” She said looking at Harley and Peter expectantly, she knew that if the pint sized genius was gonna be anywhere it was gonna be with her chaotic gay™ brothers (they are Tony and Pepper’s sons, Harley’s like a son in law but still a their son, and Morgan’s brothers but they aren’t brothers to each other, no incest in my goddamn lobby).

The witch heard sugar induced giggles from under the table, so she knelt down saying “there you are” smiling as she subtly used her powers (making sure no one saw) to yank Morgan out from under the table by her foot clearly having the time of her life.

Turning to leave Wanda abruptly stopped and spun back around looking at Peter.

“Pete, by the way you should prepare yourself mentally and physically for the next half of your field trip cause your class is visiting the gym where Sam, Bucky, Steve and Nat are setting up right now. Don’t say I never do anything for you” she spoke in a low voice before quickly dragging Morgan out of the room while she attempted to run back to her brothers.

Right when Wanda said the word ‘gym’ Peter immediately slammed his head on the table groaning.

Harley, being the best most supporting and loving boyfriend in the whole universe just pulled him off the table and into his arms laughing then laughing harder when Peter smacked his arm.

“Right well on that note we better get going” Harley spoke kissing Peter’s forehead and standing up to clap his hands announcing they were moving on in five.

Sighing Peter looked at his friends searching for any trace of sympathy at this horrid turn of events. Receiving none he called them ‘a bunch of soulless bastards’ with a half amused half anxious expression which told them he didn’t mean it at all.

The whole group prepared to leave all questioning Harley about the mystery destination, to which he only said that they will have to ‘wait and see’ essentially shoving everyone into the elevator as Friday silently whisked them all up to the training floor (no tour group had ever been this high up but for today and only today Tony had allowed access to each and every student).

There doors opened and all the teenagers, Mr Harrington included, could do was let their mouths fall open gaping at what laid before them.

_This is gonna end so fucking badly._


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in update guys I had a shit tonne of coursework yesterday lmao end me  
> Hopefully this is alright

As the doors swung open the first thing the students witnessed was Captain America being thrown halfway across the sparring area by the Scarlett Witch. This would have been worrying had it taken place in any place besides the gym as they were clearly training with their powers.

“Right, so this is the secret mysterious fantastical location that y’all have been waiting for, I hope it’s better than anything else you were imagining” Harley spoke with a smug smirk leading the group further into the room.

Peter instantly noticed Sam and Bucky stood on the side-lines assessing the group of teenagers probably checking for threats. This would have seemed ridiculous if it wasn’t for the three superpowered teenagers that they already knew where in the building.

The spider boy also saw his Uncle Rhodey present in the room who smiled at him in acknowledgment, he was there most likely refereeing on behalf of his mom to make sure the Avengers don’t take embarrassing him and maiming Flash too far.

“Hello маленький паук” Nat spoke fondly coming up to Peter embracing him in a short hug.

“Hey Тетя таша” Peter replied into the embrace, hopefully quiet enough that no one heard but going by the love filled expression Harley was projecting he was unsuccessful.

Releasing Peter and scanning her eyes over the shocked silent students she landed on MJ cooling walking up to the girl she had met on multiple occasions high fiving her.

“все на месте?” MJ spoke, not surprising anyone that she knew Russian, just slightly scaring them all a bit more.

“Да, ты придерживался плана?” his Aunt Tasha replied

“Конечно. Вспышка бесит” MJ nodded.

Natasha simply smiled, turned to the group and walked to the front where Harley had been watching the exchange attempting to make out some of the conversation but failed miserably.

Peter, like his boyfriend, didn’t know too much complex Russian so he had no idea what the two said but it deffo was not anything that would benefit Peter, or Flash.

Steve walked up to the front of the group as well standing next to the two scheming betrayal monsters.

“Hello guys, I’m Steve Rogers but you probably know me better as Captain America. Today you will have the once in a lifetime chance to spar with one of the Avengers of your choice that are present in this room”

At this every student was ecstatic not even trying to hide their pure excitement. Obviously everyone except Peter because he knew exactly what those sneaky shits were gonna make him do. _This family is a fucking nightmare._

Ned had visited the gym before along with MJ when they were taught basic self defence by Nat and Peter, but he had never been allowed to actually spar with any of the Avengers so even for him who had met pretty much all the Avengers he was excited. MJ was too but she would never admit to that.

“Yep like gramps said you will each be able to pick who you spar with, so besides me and the pensioner said there’s Bucky or the White Wolf over there, that’s Sam or the Falcon, over there is Colonel James Rhodes or War Machine, and there’s Wanda or the Scarlett Witch, you’ve already seen her in action today so pick wisely ” she said pointing to where everyone was around the room.

“Alright calm down Russian Intelligence,” Steve joked back at that jab at his age, “so whose first?”

The second the words left Steve’s mouth Flash pushed his way to the front of the group elbowing a girl harshly. This action made Steve’s eye twitch in restraint ready to put the utter disappointment to humanity down already.

“I’ll take on the Black Widow” Flash confidently said eyeing up his opponent as though he actually believe he would win.

Whether it was because Tasha’s a woman and he thought she might be weaker Peter had no idea, however one thing he did know is that this was defiantly part of the plan that he would predictably chose Natasha. Flash had no idea what he was in for.

Nat and Flash stepped onto the training mats and she began to explain various defence moves and blocking techniques.

“uh yeah I think I can do that” Flash scoffed cockily turning to face his mates.

“Well if you’re ready we can start” the Black Widow smiled politely.

Peter’s Spidey sense knew that Morgan was in the room somehow so he did a quick scan and saw her.

Morgan was stood with a giant foam finger right in the back by the open door where no one could see her next to Shuri whose currently organising bets with Sam and Bucky who had gathered next to them on how fast Flash will get knocked out. For example Clint’s got his money on 10 seconds whereas Pepper’s betting 4 seconds.

Giving a secretive wave to his little sister he turned back to face Flash’s beat down by a 5’2 storm when he felt Harley put his arm around his waist kissing his temple.

“You ready?”

“I’ve been ready since the very first day I met that piss blender” Peter whispered back.

Harley laughed as quietly as he could into Peter’s hair, calming down just as Steve counted them in. Everyone in the room was watching with laser focus.

Flash took a half step forward towards Nat as she took a running leap at the boy swiftly wrapping her thighs around his throat in a choke hold and slamming him face first into the ground.

There was a synchronised “ _oooh_ ” and a wince from many in the audience.

Mr Harrington chose now to speak up and ask about the safety of this exercise and Bucky simply yelled over “He signed the forms right?” to which Mr Harrington realised he had no leg to stand on in that argument so just left it and prayed that Flash left this trip somewhat unscathed.

Cheek pressed into the mat and embarrassed as all fuck Flash tapped out almost straight away. Natasha stood having not even broken a sweat, but Flash rolled over taking his time getting up very red in the face and visibly not just from his brutal slam down. Ashamedly he walked at a fast pace back to the group standing off to the side away from where his friends where laughing. 

Needless to say it was Pepper who won the bet much to the disappointment of the others.

Peter was glad that the asshat finally got what he deserved still laughing at the memory of how fast he hit the mat.

“I think we should get to chose who goes next. What do you say Peter?” Natasha said evilly pointedly looking him dead in the eye.

Like a magnet the whole room turned to stare at Peter making his spidey sense go insane.

“You what?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> все на месте = Is everything in place?  
> Да, ты придерживался плана = Yep, have you stuck to the plan?  
> Конечно. Вспышка бесит = Of course. Flash is beyond pissed off.  
> маленький паук = little spider  
> Тетя таша = Aunt Tasha


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for the longer wait had a frustrating couple of days   
> Hope this chapters pleasing :)

Peter’s eye widened like goddamn saucers. How on God’s green Earth were they even allowed to lay such torment upon his already battered soul? Hadn’t he suffered enough today already?

Harley gave his boyfriend a gentle nudge of encouragement pushing him to move to the front of the group to where Flash had been KOed 30 seconds prior.

Peter heard Flash muttering loud and clear that if _he_ couldn’t beat the Black Widow then ‘Puny Parker’ stood no chance. _Well, we can’t all be blessed with brains._

Dragging himself to the mats and glaring at Natasha the whole way Peter stopped as Harley yelled “TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF, BABE!”

At this point Peter really couldn’t bring himself to give a shit so he shrugged off his shirt ( ** _damn son, scandalised_** ) dropping it on the ground and turning to face Nat only wearing his black skinny jeans (thank the heavens above for the stretchy material) and his converse.

There were a number of gasps around the room once again, _someone’s leaving here with asthma,_ Peter thought.

“Oh no he’s hot” someone exclaimed

“OH RIGHT OF COURSE HE’S GOT A FUCKING SIX PACK. HOW DID I NOT FORESEE THIS TURN OF EVENTS” Flash raged.

“It’s cause your stupid” MJ supplied the facts and only the facts.

Peter ignored the class as Tasha spoke smirked “Не сдерживайся, Маленький Паук”

“Пока вы уверены, тетя Таша” Peter smirking back.

The two got into position as Steve counted them in from the sidelines attempting to hold back his amused expression.

The class stood in awe at Peter and Natasha’s sparring which was more like a beautiful dance.

MJ nudged Ned who snorted at the site of Harley’s intense heart eyes at Peter.

After 3 minutes of back and fourth Peter decided they should finish the fight so he Kicked Nat in the side and tackled her to the ground causing her to tap out with a proud expression. Had it not been for the class watching he would have used his better Spider-Man moves but he was actually trying to keep his identity a secret believe it or not.

Peter helped Nat up who unsurprisingly hadn’t broken a sweat congratulating Peter on winning.

“There is no fucking way that Penis could ever beat the Black Widow. He somehow paid her and she let him win!” Flash sputtered still refusing to believe what was in front of him.

Just as Harley began absolutely Steaming ready to throw hands for the second time today damn the consequences Steve stepped forward as Natasha and MJ fucking simultaneously hissed, _Jesus fucking Christ._

“You’d better watch your mouth, son. I don’t take kindly to bullies. In fact I paralyse them” Steve spoke intimidatingly walking up to Flash and giving Mr Harrington a glare that said ‘why aren’t you doing anything to shut up this little cretin?’.

All the Avengers knew for a fact that Steve was lying through his teeth, Bucky had told them about all the times Steve had picked fights with bullies twice his size and lost every time. But Flash didn’t know that and it was fun to watch him shake with fear.

Steve backed off mostly, but still giving Flash a heavy death glare, when he was sure the twat nugget had almost pissed himself.

Leah checked her watch noticing that it was time for the Avenger’s Q&A session on one of the lower levels. At this she clapped her hands to get everyone’s attention (by this time Shuri and Morgan had escaped the room and were nowhere to be found or seen by any of the students which was most definitely a good thing).

“Okay guys we’re gonna have to get moving to be on time for the Q&A which is going to be the last stop on this tour, hopefully you’ve enjoyed this demonstration I do apologise that it went off track and you weren’t able to take part but you will still get to meet with the Avengers next and ask them some questions”

There were many protests and frowns across the room as they were herded out by Leah and Harley, Ned, MJ and Peter once again at the back as he picked up his stuff and put his shirt and hoodie back on getting cosy again. _It’s acc cold as frick in the gym my god can we get a space heater or something guys jheezus._

Peter noticed Ned’s disappointed expression and held him and MJ back to speak to them away from intrusive ears.

“I know you guys were looking forward to actually sparring so ask your parents if you can stay over after the trip and i’ll get mom or dad to talk to Mr Harrington so you guys can train with us later if you want?”

“OHmygod Peter are you for real? Thank youuuuuuu!!” Ned whispered excitedly vibrating again.

MJ nudged him in the arm with a hint of a genuine smile, “thanks nerd”

“Yeah no probs, I mean hanging out with me and the others you both should probably be able to hold your own in a real fight, y’know just in case”

Peter felt kinda bad that his friends could potentially even be put in such a situation, but he was glad that they were both excited about it anyway.

The three friends caught up with the rest of the group who had taken the stairs this time as the next destination was only three floors down from the gym.

Harley was bringing up the rear of the group and Leah was at the front leading the way, so Peter easily slipped his hand into Harley’s who in turn stopped them briefly to kiss his boyfriend whispering how he was going to bury Flash’s useless body six feet under after he used him as target practice for his upgraded nano tech suit repulsors.

“You really know the way to a guy’s heart Harls” Peter laughed carrying on walking down the stairs.

“I’ve been taking lessons from Tasha” Harley grinned following after still holding Peter’s hand that was way softer than Harley’s rough mechanic hands. Peter’s mind drifted elsewhere for a moment thinking about what those hands could and would do to him until he mentally slapped himself again in an attempt to come back to reality. There was a time and a place for those thoughts, _and that was later on in his and Harley’s bedroom with the door locked._

The group walked through the doors after scanning their badges entering the medium sized press conference room where they sat in the chairs that had been set out for them in front of a low stage which held a long table with more chairs and name tags for the Avengers who agreed to take part.

Once more the room was alive with the buzz of excitement, all of the students planning questions to ask their heroes when they arrived.

While waiting MJ pulled her sketch book out of her bag drawing some of the student’s faces, mainly Flash who was currently sat on the front row having gained his confidence back boasting to his friends how Tony Stark is going to be begging him to become an intern at Stark Industries due to his ‘intellect’ and sheer balls to stand up to Captain America.

 _Right well I don’t know what dimension he’s living in but whatever makes the crap biscuit sleep at night_ , Peter thought, and by the looks of Flash’s friends they were thinking the exact same thing with forced smiles and rehearsed answers.

Leah was sat beside Ned doing work on her Stark Pad while they waited for the Q&A to start, Ned was sat on the other side of MJ talking to Betty sat on the row in front, MJ was next to Peter, and Peter was leaning into Harley with his eyes shut trying to block out everything that was his boyfriend who was currently carding his hands through Peter’s hair as he tried to bury himself further into Harley’s neck inhaling the faint scent of motor oil, coconut, and _home_.

Ignoring everything Peter failed to notice Pepper enter the room through a door at the back, this was unusual as he normally would have known straight away but his sixth sense has been off quite a bit today just showing how tired he really was. God he wanted to sleep (in his big comfy ass bed, _withHarley)._

Pepper gracefully sat in the seat next to Harley who whispered that she’d arrived, Peter slowly lifted his head bleary eyed to see his mom who smiled gently at him.

“Hey Peter, you alright? How’s the trip going?” She said quietly reaching over to hold his hand rubbing her thumb over his knuckles. _He must look on the verge of a sensory overload._

“It’s not been boring I’ll tell you that much” he spoke just as quietly so as to not draw attention to their family moment, huffing out a small laugh.

“Not long now baby, your dad’s just wrangling the team for this Q&A and I’m gonna talk to your class about Stark Industries for about 10 minutes or so,” she smiled, “after that we can retreat upstairs”.

Peter nodded looking at Harley who seemed content with this plan.

“Hey Pep, where’s Morgan?” Harley asked raising an eyebrow.

“Morgan is with Shuri in the penthouse watching Friday’s security footage of this room live because we thought it might be difficult to explain why there’s a ten year old in the tower. Wave to the camera they’re watching right now” Pepper explained. The three laughed giving small waves knowing they were seen.

“Okay I’m going to begin now, why don’t you rest your eyes Peter” Pepper said standing and stroking Peter’s shoulder.

“Okay Mom- Oh by the way can MJ and Ned stay after the tour? They missed out on sparring in the gym and I think it’d be good for them to learn some moves just in case”

“Yes of course that’s fine honey, I’ll meet you four upstairs after the tour then” she smiled kissing both their foreheads and moving to the stage instantly gaining the attention of the whole room.

Peter sighed moving back into his comfy position and Harley wrapped both his arms around the smaller boy listening to Pepper introduce herself and start talking about Stark Industries career opportunities.

Neither boy noticed as Friday took a few pictures and saved them to the Parkner Moments™ file created by MJ and Shuri, who had been sketching the practically soulmates for the past five minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Не сдерживайся, Маленький Паук = don’t hold back Little Spider  
> Пока вы уверены, тетя Таша = if you say so, Aunt Tasha


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one’s so short guys been v busy

Pepper finished her explanation of the Stark Industries internship program and saying that she had time for a couple of questions from the group. Immediately hands shot up from the audience who had been hanging on to every word, each of the students desperate to work within Stark Industries one day.

Pepper pointed towards Betty who had her notepad on her lap ready to take even more notes.

“Mrs Stark, how does it feel to be in such a stressful unpredictable industry and are you worried for the future of the company?”

“Well, it has its challenges like any other company, but with the help of my team I am confident in saying that the company will continue in the future to prosper far beyond expectations of the media” Pepper spoke subtly looking over to at her kids in the back who were her ‘team’ and mainly MJ who was basically mini Pepper who smiled back.

Betty nodded frantically scribbling her response awaiting the next.

Next Flash, the enormous shit sack, put his hand up waving at Pepper as though she didn’t already have the bender on her radar keeping an eye on him.

The CEO looked at him raising an eyebrow and Flash took that as his cue to speak.

“So when can we apply for an internship here then? I know you don’t take on high school students, I’ve checked many times and I’ve also applied but it was denied, which is your loss really” the last part Flash said under his breath but Pepper must have still heard it judging by her expression.

“Well you’re correct there, we only take on college students and up. That is with the exception of two people-”

Pepper responded being cut off by Flash nearly falling out of his chair at the sheer force in which he spun around to look at Peter yelling “I KNEW you were LYING. They don’t take high schoolers, why don’t you just GIVE UP ON YOUR FUCKING LIES PENIS. YOU’RE A DAMN JOKE”

Peter was startled wide awake at Flash’s outburst sitting up confused as to why Flash had a pulsing vein in his forehead ready to burst.

Harley was beyond done with Flash’s shit ready to absolutely pulverise the dickless pisshole. He stood up clenching his fists so hard his knuckles became pure white.

Pepper finally snapped.

This little bastard was going to be sorry he was ever born when the wrath of Pepper Stark was brought down upon him.

“What the FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT MY SON, **_EUGENE_**? DO YOU EVEN HAVE A FILTER OR IS EVERY SINGLE IDIOTIC THOUGHT THAT LEAVES YOUR EMPTY CAVITY OF A HEAD JUST MINDLESS SPITEFUL JEALOUSY? WHO DO YOU THINK WAS THE EXCEPTION I JUST MENTIONED? WERE YOU EVEN LISTENING? YOU ARE THE JOKE AROUND HERE, EUGENE. NOT PETER” Pepper ranted leaving everyone speechless. No one in the room had ever seen the woman lose her cool like this before. _It was utterly terrifying._

_If Flash hadn’t pissed himself yet, he surely had now._

The room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

Peter felt so incredibly awkward at the silence that he reached foreword to grab Harley’s hand and focus intently on his boyfriends heavy breathing and heartbeat. At this Harley sat back down satisfied that Flash had been once again completely humiliated.

Flash slowly sat down as Pepper cleared her throat speaking in the same tone as before her rant as though it had never even happened, even though there were still shocked faces all around the group.

“That concludes my talk with you guys, I hope you found it educational to some extent, if you have any other questions the Avengers will be arriving within the next few minutes for their Q&A” Pepper smiled, everyone (besides Flash) clapped and hooted as she stepping off the stage going to sit back next to Harley.

“Holy shit mom where did that come from?” Peter snorted, MJ leaned over to high five Pepper.

“Motherly instincts, Honey. He wouldn’t dare bother you ever again while I’m around”

Peter hugged her and leant back against his comfy boyfriend pillow.

After a few minutes Pepper’s watch buzzed with Friday informing her that she was needed upstairs with Morgan.

“Guys, I’ve gotta go up to check on Morgan and Shuri to make sure they haven’t blown anything up,” Pepper said quietly, “I’ll still be watching from upstairs, don’t look so worried”

 _Yeah sure it’s only my super powered family that are gonna be answering questions from my classmates and who are also highly likely currently debating on where to bury Flash’s corpse but yeah no worries_ , Peter thought.

Pepper kissed the two boys on the head once more and left the room, heels clicking after her.

“It’s going to be fine sweetheart” Harley drawled.

“That’s easy for you to say, you’re not the one everyone’s staring at” Peter huffed.

“I beg to differ”

Peter smacked his arm smirking when he heard a little “aH”.

Looking up he noticed Steve, Natasha, Clint, Wanda, Bucky, Rhodey, Sam, and Tony walk on to the stage each looking in Peter’s general direction.

**_Oh fuck me_ **


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to say last chapter:
> 
> PETER AND PEPPER ARE THE BEST MOM AND SON DUO OUT THERE FIGHT ME I’LL KNOCK U OUT  
> PEPPER LOVES AND SUPPORTS HER GAY SON DON’T @ ME
> 
> Thank you so much if you’re still reading this absolute mess lol  
> Sorry once again for slow updates I’m awful at this

Peter had to literally cover his ears due to the intensity of the screaming from the students. Harley quickly noticed and also put his hands over Peter’s sensitive ears moments before Tony noticed his adopted son’s pain.

Waving his arms in a ‘settle down’ motion Tony quietened the room instantly gaining everyone’s attention, _not that he would have had to try hard anyway._

By the time the group had stopped their horridly combined yelling the rest of the Avengers present for the Q&A had taken their seats behind the raised table on the stage.

“Hello Midtown, you all know why we’re here right now so lets cut to the chase,” Tony began subtly eyeing up the room for potential threats similarly to how Sam and Bucky had previously reacted, “for the next forty minutes you guys will have the opportunity to ask us questions and we’ll answer as honestly as possible, but I will warn you if they’re too personal, confidential, or we don’t feel comfortable sharing, we won’t answer. Capeesh?”

There were a few nods around the room as Tony took his seat.

“That’s a lot of Avengers, I wonder if Spider-Man planning to make an appearance?” Harley asked, teasingly.

“Absolutely not” Peter declared as Harley snickered, Peter began to slouch down trying to become one with the chair.

Tony looked up straight at Peter who a few seconds later felt a vibrate from his watch as Steve began answering the first question in the background.

Looking at his wrist he saw a short, “You okay?”

Peter lifted his head meeting his dad’s eyes for a short moment and giving a little nod that he hoped no one saw. Tony smiled at the same time he reached up to scratch his nose hiding it. This gesture however, Flash bucket fucker Thompson noticed, twisting slightly in his chair to see where Iron Man had been looking once Tony had turned back to listen to the end of Steve’s answer on how many Nazis he actually killed.

Flash span back around immediately raising his hand when Steve had finished, clearly not having had enough embarrassment for this lifetime.

Harley groaned just at the sight even before the douche kebab had opened his mouth and muttered “that little shit’s skating on thin ice I swear to God”

Bucky leaned forward with a vicious smile pointing to Flash saying “You, over gelled greasy can of Lynx Africa. Go ahead”

The master assassin had sassed Flash in such a way the boy had to take a second to remember his question. The dude was speechless for a whole five seconds, _well that’s a first and how blissful the silence was, shame it wouldn’t last._

Flash had recovered and finished rebooting after his momentary quick windows XP™ shut down and continued to open his mouth to ask his question when-

“CODE BROWN: SHIT’S GOING DOWN PROTOCOL. ALL AVAILABLE AVENGERS REQUIRED EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY. INTRUDERS ON THE ROOF AND IN THE LOBBY” Friday’s Irish accent spoke seriously as red lights flashed.

“OH FOR FUCKS SAKE WHAT NOW?!” Flash yelled towards the ceiling.

“I’m gonna need you to watch your tone, Eugene. You’re already on the list of twats to never return” Friday immediately retorted, _hell yeah best AI in existence._

Flash’s eyes widened and he shrunk back into his seat spluttering.

All of the Avengers headed out of the room to deal with the threat while the teenagers and Mr Harrington went into panic mode.

“Pete, Harls. You’ve gotta protect these guys the best you can without revealing yourselves, I’m so sorry I assure you this was not part of the master plan” Tony spoke while his nano tech suit formed around him from his chest piece.

“I fuckin knew you all had a master plan” Peter replied jokingly ignoring the danger of the situation inwardly screaming again because this secret identity of his was not gonna be secret for much longer the way things were going and life right now was getting a big fat **_no_** from him.

With the face plate up Tony responded in a robotic voice laughing, “Plan? What plan? I was just joking, there’s no plan at all… see you later, good luck nerds!” He then proceeded to blast through the window Friday had opened to survey the roof situation.

The group began to quiet down huddling together in the middle of the room.

MJ, Ned, and Leah huddle separately around Peter and Harley trying to assess the situation and work out how best to protect the group.

“Okay,” MJ started putting her phone back in her pocket, “Pepper’s texted me and the penthouse is on lockdown, the shutters are down and no ones getting in without a hulk”

 _Thank God,_ Peter thought, _one thing less to worry about._

“What do we do with this lot?” Leah worriedly spoke anxiously clapping her sleeve paws in her Stark employee hoodie. Most of the employees wear comfy clothing (hoodies, joggers, etc) around the upper floors, especially the younger interns like Peter, Harley, and Leah. Smart clothing isn’t essential at Stark Industries, this concept may seem unprofessional but when you practically live at your place of work you may as well being comfy. It relieves a lot of stress too.

“We gotta distract them or something” Ned said also looking anxious and out of his depth, he’d never experienced the intruder protocol with the whole ‘guy in the chair’ thing he was usually far away from the threat.

Harley nodded taking action. He stood on a chair and whistled grabbing everyone’s attention.

“Right me and Peter have been put in charge of protecting y’all so as long as you do as we say you will probably remain unharmed”

Peter face palmed for real this time.

“PROBABLY?” Betty squeaked.

“He means definitely, right Harley?” Peter smiled whacking Harley in the back of the knee with force.

“OOf- uh yeah definitely… just uh sit down and try stay quiet and calm. Everything is under control”

The group took their seats agin but still looked very unsure and scared.

“And what are you two gonna do to ‘protect’ us?” Flash questioned scoffing.

“Uhh, we’ll get back to you on that one” Harley finger gunned jumping off the chair turning away from the group.

After a few minutes of contemplating life and how on this unholy plane of existence they were supposed to keep Peter’s classmates safe, Friday made another announcement.

“INTRUDER ALERT: CODE DARK BROWN. BAD BITCHES APPROACHING IN ONE MINUTE PETER”

_God really has abandoned this timeline._

Peter looked at each of his friends, every last shred of hope at a half decent plan left his soul.

Harley reached forward holding his boyfriend’s face in his gentle palms seriously looking him dead in the eye.

“You don’t have to do this babe-”

Peter stared him back.

“THIRTY SECONDS” Friday supplied trying to hurry their decision along.

If the students weren’t panicking yet they sure were now.

“wE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!”

“Oh fuck it. They signed the NDAs right?”

Leah nodded quickly holding onto MJ in an attempt to stop her anxiety attack.

Like a Razor Scooter to the ankle Peter tapped in the combination into his watch releasing the Iron Spider. Harley did the same thing for his Iron Lad armour and each of their nanotech suits began to form around them.

“WHAT THE _FUCK_ -”

“Get down”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao fuck Flash


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I do apologise once agin for my inconsistency.  
> Hopefully I can try and update more because quarantine lmao
> 
> Hope you guys are staying safe and are all okay xx

All of a sudden there was a loud crash from the reinforced floor to ceiling windows on the East end of the building. A large group of weaponised men in all black wearing ski masks landed on the floor before the students getting into a synchronised fighting stance. _The Mortal Kombat fan club needs to chill._

Flash actually screeched this time huddling further into the middle of the group and Friday saved the footage to the ‘Sewage Tornado Caught in the Act’ file. Let it be known, Friday and Karen started this file the second Flash stepped off the bus and they had been collecting footage of his fuck ups and bullying all day. At present there is three hour of footage.

Harley and Peter stood protectively in front of the group shielding them from the impending threat.

“Karen, how many are there?” Peter tried to count them himself but he was still slightly disorientated.

“There are eight threats in the room, not including douche almighty behind you” Karen responded.

“Okay, not too bad” Peter said mostly to himself trying to ignore Karen’s sass.

The biggest bad guy took a step forward when he was halted by a call from MJ, “and just who the fuck are you? You got some nerve crashing our epic field trip”

_Goddamn that girl has some balls of steel._

The big boy baddie did not look impressed, I gotta say. The towering beefcake gave the answer of “My name is ‘The Silencer’ and we’re here to retrieve the Stark tech that big bird owes us, thanks to you Spider-Man we didn’t receive it, did we boys?” There were some grunts of acknowledgement from the seven thugs.

Peter took a sideways glance at Harley, even though they each had their face plates up there was a mutual understanding and silent communication of ‘its okay, Peter, you’re not trapped. You survived. You’re alive’.

_Shuri was right, the plot McThickened._

At the confirmation of Mr Muscle’s bad guy alias there were loud groans all around the room.

“Seriously dude? You couldn’t think of anything else?” Abe deadpanned, his classmates confidence in the situation surprised Peter. It was true, all Gen z’s simply don’t give a fuck. Peter was oddly proud.

Mr Harrington on the other hand looked horrified that his student had even dared to speak up. Really he should be used to this by now. Bless his poor soul.

The Silencer just growled looking as though he was about ready to start firing his alien looking weapon at random which would be less than ideal in Peter’s opinion. 

“Alright, who pissed in your cheerios?” Harley asked with a wave of his hands as though he also gave very little fucks for his own safety, which I can confirm is certainly not safe. Then again Peter couldn’t exactly judge him without being the biggest hypocrite in the universe, so pop off I guess.

“Enough!”, The Silencer yelled in frustration firing up his weapon, “stick to the plan boys!” He said charging forward.

Peter and Harley sprang into action. Harley went straight for the big guy while Peter swiftly knocked the thugs unconscious webbing them up and taking their weapons.

“SPIDER-MAN MOVE,” Betty cried, as one of the thugs had regained consciousness and grabbed one of the discarded guns.

As Peter was about to dodge the threat from an unknown angle when Harley quickly appeared in front of him yanking him out of the firing line.

“Holy shit that was close” Peter breathed squeezing Harley’s hand before jumping straight back into the action.

By this point the whole class, Mr Harrington included were huddled together behind an large over turned conference table. Due to this, Mr Harrington didn’t notice Ned’s attempt to pull MJ back to the makeshift barricade as she followed Leah, both intent on fucking up the bad dude who try to shoot their chaotic Spider Boy™. _Protective much_.

MJ tapped the guy on the shoulder and he abruptly span around to face the two fierce women.

Suddenly MJ sucker punched the man in the jaw and he went down like a body in a bag, Ned suppressed a laugh with tears rolling down his cheeks. Man what a time to be alive.

Leah marched up to his fallen form and proceeded to try land a field goal with his balls.

Ned cringed _hard_ with an “oOhf” as the man silently screamed.

The fuming intern went to kick him once more but MJ halted her movement with a hand on her shoulder saying “it’s okay Leah, he’s down”

The shorter girl looked up briefly and then looked back down.

“Yah man but I wanna be sure”

With that she slammed her foot once more singing a painful lullaby to the now unconscious goon.

“You need to see a therapist about your anger bro” Ned whispered still giggling as the two girls sat back behind the table.

“Lmao k I’ll add it to my to do list”

Peter and Harley had been able to take out all of The Silencer’s goons and where now both fighting the final boss.

With every kick and punch thrown Peter shouted “WAH” in his Waluigi voice that he’d been practising because it makes fights even more interesting, even though Tony called him a moron every time he watched back the footage.

Harley blasted his repulsor in The Silencer’s face making him stumble back.

“Hey darlin, this reminds me of our first date”

“You and I remember that very differently, Harls”

Peter leapt forwards taking his stumble to his advantage and swiftly knocked him down with a roundhouse kick to back of the knees.

Harley finally KO’d the bastard and Peter webbed him up along with the other bad guys, also taking his weapons and disabling them.

After ensuring everyone was down for the count and not gonna wake anytime soon, Peter had Karen contact the Tony about the situation and what had gone down.

While awaiting the next instructions, Harley walked over to his tired boyfriend slipping his bigger hand around Peter’s smaller rubbing his armoured knuckles.

They moved over to the sideways table telling everyone not to worry and they had dealt with the threat.

“Y’all okay?”

The whole group nodded, even Flash who was rather pale staring directly at Peter’s face plate.

“I take it you guys have questions, but if you could please just hold off until these knob wagons are properly contained and out of ear shot” Peter said.

“By the way guys, y’all each signed NDAs, meaning if any word gets out regarding either of our identities or anything else y’ve witnessed today, Tony Stark himself will sue you, your entire family, your ancestors, and your pets. Y’all’ll become trolls living under a heroine needle infested bridge, understand?” Harley threatened, his accent coming out deep and thicc. Peter would’ve gotten hot and bothered had he not been so tired, instead it just made him crave a cuddle under their soft cotton bedsheets.

There was another chorus of nods throughout the group, this time a little more vigorous.

A few minutes passed until Iron Man, The White Wolf, War Machine, Black Widow, Falcon, and Captain America burst through the doors.

They all headed for the bad guys who were still in dreamland thank God, this was besides Tony and Nat who headed towards Peter, Harley and the group.

“You boys okay?” Tony fretted unsubtly doing a scan of them both for injuries stopping only when he was satisfied they were both fine and dandy.

“Они знают твой секрет, мой маленький паук, ты уверен, что ты в порядке?” Natasha spoke walking in front of Peter facing him as if to shield him from his class.

“Это еще не дошло, я могу пожалеть об этом позже, хотя, когда Флэш забывает дышать и задыхается. Черт, он хорош там?” Peter responded with his eye lenses widening.

Natasha chuckled as she glanced over at the ghostly pale boy in question, “Когда он когда-нибудь, мой ребенок?”

Peter just smiled and turned to his dad.

“How was everything upstairs?”

“We dealt with 20 armed goons on the roof and another 10 on the reception level, no one got up through the elevators or stairways cause Friday was able to lockdown ( **HAH** ) access before they could even try” Tony replied in a light hearted manner as he always tried to when young non-Avengers where present so as to not frighten them.

The eccentric man did a full 180 in order to address the class.

“Right genius kiddies,” (bar one), “the lovely Leah is now going to take you all up to the penthouse where Pepper is right now because it is the safest place you will ever be. Touch anything you lose your hands”

There were some gasps and excited faces until they heard the last bit and they just froze.

“Just kidding! You guys are too easy,” Tony chuckled, “well off you go, ill meet you up there in 10”

The billionaire clapped Peter on the back and nodded to Harley as he and Natasha went over to speak to the other present Avengers.

“Okie dokie then, what he said,” Leah stood up clapping her hands twice, “lets get a move on, wouldn’t wanna be hear when they wake up now would we” she laughed.

That got them moving fast all but sprinting through the open door Tony had entered through to the elevator that Friday had already prepared.

Once everyone was inside Leah spoke again.

“Okay so like Mr Stark said do not touch anything, people actually live here and I’m sure you wouldn’t like people poking around your stuff?”

She winked at Peter as if to say ‘I got your back bro no sweat’.

Peter sighed looking down to his hand tangle with Harley’s still remembering he was still enclosed in the Iron Spider suit. At least that provided him with a little more confidence.

The doors opened and he came face to face with the place he called home, and also with Morgan Stark who came once again bounding into his arms.

_This day just keeps getting better and better._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Они знают твой секрет, мой маленький паук, ты уверен, что ты в порядке? = They know your secret, my little spider, are you sure you're okay?
> 
> Это еще не дошло, я могу пожалеть об этом позже, хотя, когда Флэш забывает дышать и задыхается. Черт, он хорош там? = It still hasn't sunk in yet, I might regret it later though when Flash forgets to breathe and suffocates. Damn, is he good over there?
> 
> Когда он когда-нибудь, мой ребенок? = When is he ever, my child?


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wash yo hands bitches
> 
> This is the product of my insanity due to isolation :)

“Oof- Hey Mo” Peter said awkwardly struggling with a ten year old in his arms who was trying to climb him like a tree.

“Hellooo again Nerds” Morgan squealed at Harley who whacked her over the head, she then whacked him back twice as hard earning a “hEy-”

“Sup Morgs” MJ said high giving the pint sized genius while she swung on Peter’s left arm. _At least he wouldn’t have to make an excuse for his super strength any more._

The entire class was once again rendered speechless at the sight of Tony Stark’s personal pent house. The home of the man, the myth, the legend, and the tin can that Peter called his dad.

Pepper stood from the comfy black couch that was worth more than Peter’s life, _for real he could be traded on the black market for less,_ and gracefully glided over the group leaving Shuri sniggering on the couch not so secretly laughing at the situation.

_Parker fucking luck™_

_“_ Midtown students, welcome to our home,” Pepper spoke sincerely, “I do apologise on behalf of Stark Industries and the Avengers for your less than ideal trip today. Now if you’d please come in and make yourselves comfortable, I wont be a moment I just need a private word with these four” Pepper directed the last part at Mr Harrington who became a literal nodding dog as Pepper smiled dragging Harley, Peter, Ned, and MJ to one side as Leah directed the group to sit on the various couches and chairs decorating the living room.

The students looked as though they didn’t know what to do with themselves as Leah perched on the couch beside her princess girlfriend holding her hand.

Morgan bounded around the room showing the group where they should each sit while spouting things like: “If you would like to park your ass here sir that would be kindly appreciated” and “Mam, I really think this bean bag is calling your name, sit on her” etc. Good thing Pepper was out of ear shot. Shuri had tears streaming down her face silently praying that Friday was recording every moment of this.

Pepper had Friday scan the four teenagers for any hidden injuries, finding none the maternal woman surged forward gathering them in a hug.

“Oh I was so worried, I know you guys can certainly handle yourselves but they caught us all off guard” Pepper fretted.

“Hey its fine, we were fine, what about you three?” Harley questioned.

“We’re fine, this is the safest place we could have been, especially after the shutters came down, quite lucky really”

Peter noticed for the first time that the virtually indestructible vibranium shields where still covering the windows.

“By the way, Peter Honey? Your classmates are gonna wanna grill you about all this, y’know since they know now, if you’re not up for that just tell me now and I will sort it for you” Pepper spoke gently.

Peter sighed glancing over at his class who each look stuck in a state of bewilderment. They probably don’t have a clue who the fuck Morgan is but are just going with it, because after everything, a random ten year old sass machine is one of the least weird things to occur today.

“It’s okay, I think I can handle it”

Harley gave his hand a squeeze, Ned patted his shoulder, and MJ provided a short nod.

“Okay lets get started, Tony and I will make sure they wont breathe a word of any of this information beyond these walls, if they do we will sue them to death”

“Slow execution, I like it. Subtle but brutal” MJ smiled satisfied, _every female working in this damn tower is utterly terrifying, what the hell is on the entry requirement? ‘Must have a kill count of at least twenty’??_

Peter made his way back into the living room dragging Harley closely by the hand sitting between his mom and his boyfriend on the couch Leah had reserved. Pepper left space beside her for Tony when he will eventually join, Ned sat criss cross on one of Morgan’s special pink fluffy pillows next to Betty who in turn was sat on a unicorn pillow, and MJ made herself at home perching criss cross on top of the dining table closest to the couch where Peter was sat but still distancing herself from the group.

It was deathly quite. Everyone stared at Peter, _yikes._

“Alright might as well get this over with,” the spider boy muttered, “does anyone have any questions?”

Pretty much every hand shot up that didn’t already know about Peter’s sticky side, including Mr Harrington.

“Oh wow everyone, okie dokie, uhm… Abe?”

“Are you for real like actually Spider-Man?” Abe questioned laughing bordering on hysterics, _oh sweet Jesus make it stop_ , “I literally do not know what is real right now!?”

“Uhm yeah Abe, I am Spider-Man”

“Bloody fuck that’s scary” Leah asked whispering to Shuri only them and Peter hearing making him snort out the last part of his reply.

_Moving on swiftly._

Just as Peter was about to answer Mr Harrington’s question about how he got his powers Tony Stark, the root of all evil, the bastard himself, the devil, the cruellest villain Peter had ever faced entered the room and immediately gave everybody a cupcake.

Maybe the devil was a little over exaggeration but Peter was still salty that his dad had even authorised the trip in the first place.

“Daddddd!!!” Morgan squealed running into Tony’s arms demanding a piggyback from the man’

_Welp that cats out of the bag, can’t pretend she’s a random homeless child they kidnapped now._

“For the last time I birthed her, we did not kidnap her!” _Oops did he say that out loud?_

“Yes babe” Harley chuckled.

“Well goddamnit. In my defence, I’m tired as shit. I haven’t done the sleep in many of the hours”

“Mhmm” Harley shook his head fondly, vowing to knock his boy unconscious if he did not get a proper sleep tonight.

Tony plonked himself down next to his wife waving his hands in a gesture for them to carry on with the questions while rearranging Morgan on his lap.

Peter then began to recount how he got his superpowers to his teacher as one does leaving the man looking both shocked and guilty that he had allowed such a thing to happen while they were on a school trip. Peter told the man not to worry but that did nothing to reassure the poor guy, he was deffo gonna need counselling after this trip.

One of the students asked about Morgan to which Tony reply “she is the subject of mine and Pepper’s procreation” nothing more and nothing less making Peter want to spew, and Harley grimace hard, and Pepper hit him over the back of the head with much exerted force.

“Anyone else? Please” Peter all but begged.

“Who is she?” Sally asked after raising her hand.

“I am Shuri, the Princess of Wakanda”

“Oh my god oh shit oh fuck I’m sorry your highness” Sally exclaimed bowing repeatedly along with other students.

“Its okay please stop we don’t do that” Shuri spoke awkwardly trying to make them stop.

“Forgive me Miss Wakanda mam, but what are you doing here?” Sally asked hesitantly.

“I’m here visiting my best friends and I couldn’t possibly pass up the opportunity to watch Peter suffer” Shuri smiled wickedly.

Peter needed to get new friends.

“How does a Princess become friends with- I mean h-how did you uh meet?” Flash stuttered out almost taunting Peter out of habit but quickly breaking it once he realised Peter could easily snap him like the twig he is.

“My brother T’Challa is not just the king of Wakanda, he is also the Black Panther so I often travel with him which is how I met the Avengers, therefore I forced Cracker Jack over there to be my friend. He loves me really” she explained pointing at Peter.

“Whatever makes you sleep at night bitch”

“HoW dare- you’ve lost your Rhino privileges. No more Rhino for you”

“What? Rhino privilege” Flash was beyond confused.

“Shuri has a massive robot rhino that they take show jumping, its really best you don’t ask” MJ supplied.

Flash looked even more confused.

Peter wrapped up all the questions and walked to the kitchen for a drink for his dry throat while Tony spoke to the group about how if any information got out then he would make their lives not worth living. Unbeknownst to Peter, Flash had followed him in and was awkwardly standing behind him.

“wOah!” Peter got jump-scared by his presence, literally, he was on the ceiling now, “what’s the point in having super anxiety if it does fucking tell me what I’m supposed to be anxious about??”

“Uh- I umm I don’t know?”

“Uh forget that I was taking to myself, long day I guess”

Peter jumped down from the ceiling landing in his ‘superhero’ pose, just too see how intimidated Flash was, y’know, for scientific reasons. The boy took a small step back. _Intimidation 100, achievement unlocked._

“Don’t worry Flash, if I wanted to hurt you or anything I’d have done it by now, there’s no need to be scared of me if that’s the problem”

“I’m- I’m not scared I just feel terrible, I mean I’m sorry… for everything I have ever done to you,” Flash began, “why didn’t you just KO me? You could have easily just put me down, why didn’t you?”

Peter took a seat at the island and gestured for Flash to do the same.

“Why on Earth would I do that? I know you are a massive knob fucker but what would be the point in fighting you when I know that there is no way I won’t win? I could have easily fought back but if I had I might have seriously hurt you, or even killed you. What would that have achieved? My identity would be revealed and I would be known as a killer, and that’s a big no no in my book” Peter explained.

“I’m just so so sorry Peter,” Flash sighed, “and I’m such a douche that it took all of this for me to realise how shitty I’ve treated you, you didn’t deserve any of that, I guess you were just an easy target but that’s not an excuse”

“Never thought I’d see the day that you apologise and become less of a shit barrel, I accept your apology but if I catch you bullying anyone else in my place, mark my words you will become a paraplegic”

Flash nodded vigorously promising that his bullying days were over.

Satisfied, Peter stood up collecting a bottle of water and going to head back into the living room. Flash followed him and sat beside his friends on the floor.

Man Peter really hoped this day would end soon because any more surprises would surely send him into cardiac arrest.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry it’s been so long!!  
> I bring you the last chapter my children xoxo - Gossip Gorl

Friday announced that all threats had been eliminated after about an hour, _which wasn’t at all ominous_ , and the impenetrable shutters were finally let up.

There were sighs of relief all around the group.

“Well this marks the end of your tour, hope it was… interesting?” Tony announced with his smile he reserved for the public eye.

Peter and Harley rolled their eyes both looking forward to the departure of the group of students.

“Yes thank you for coming guys, Leah will kindly see you to the gift shop and then to your bus” Pepper said with the same fake smile as his dad.

At that moment Leah lifted her head and raised her eyebrows, “She is?”

Clearly the intern was just as done as they were at this point.

Pepper simply gave the girl a look and Leah jumped up quickly accepting that she would definitely not win this fight.

“Jesus Bloody hell, I’m having a phat nap when this shit’s over” Leah whispered under her breath sighing and standing up dramatically.

“If you’ll please stand up you will find the exits here, here, here and here” she said sarcastically pointing to each of the windows and then trudging to the elevator.

Shuri gave a snort and slapped her knee. _It was almost like they were made for each other_.

Mr Harrington stood first and looked as though he wanted to say something but he was at a loss for words and just gave the most awkward smile in existence saying “What do we say guys?”

There was a chorus of overlapped ‘thank you’s’ and they all began to enter the elevator waiting for it to descend. Peter, Ned and MJ stayed behind at no protest from Mr Harrington, however Abe looked as though he was walking a fine line into insanity at that moment and stopped before entering with the others.

“Wait I have one last question before we leave this Monster Energy™ inspired nightmare,” Abe said darting his eyes between Peter, Ned and MJ, “I get that Ned and MJ are your friends ( _‘friends’ being a term that Peter would use very lightly with the vast majority of the group’_ ) but so are we. What makes them so special?? I am still so _so confused”_

Harley unconsciously took a half step in front of his boyfriend as Abe began to raise his voice slightly, it unnerved him a little after believing Abe to be a calm and gentle soul. _My guy’s gonna need a fuck tonne of therapy._

Tony decided it was time to take the wheel of the speeding bus with no breaks that they were all currently riding into an active volcano.

“I can answer your question there young nerd, you see MJ and Ned are not only Peter’s friends they are also training to be a part of the team that will take over Stark Industries, they just didn’t know that until now,” he said with confidence and his signature smirk, “well actually MJ probably new”

“I knew” the girl in question said from her seating arrangement where she was man spread on top of the back of the couch eating a whole pineapple with a spoon.

“You scare me”

“I know”

“… and Peter is also in training as well as Harley,” he carried on as Peter’s head whipped around to stare at his dad, “yup, the team consists of Peter, Harls, MJ, Ned, Leah, and Morguna when she’s old enough”

The volcano was now erupting. It was like Pompeii all over again.

Peter was gaping at the man as he squeaked out an “Exqueeze me?”

This only made Tony’s evil grin widen while the class and Mr Harrington had similar reactions to Peter.

Clearly Harley knew as well because he was noticeably concealing a smirk of his own at their combined shock.

“Yup,” Tony repeated popping the ‘P’, “MJ will be the company’s new CFO (Chief Finance Officer), Ned will be the CTO (Chief Technology Officer), Leah will be the COO (Chief Operating Officer), and Harley and Peter will be the join CEOs (Chief Executive Officers), and when Morguna is ready she will join them”

You could hear a pin drop until, “ **What in the name of her Majesty Queen Lizzie II-** ”

Betty was the first one to actually move and made her way over to MJ still man spreading now having finished her tropical delicacy and held her hand out still watching for the class’s reaction. Betty fished in her pocket and placed $5 in MJ’s open hand sighing.

“I fucking told you they’d find out today”

“yOU KNEW TOO? hOw??” Peter exclaimed as Betty snorted and nodded.

“I am a journalist, I know shit. And I’m friend’s with MJ, she tells me _your_ shit”

“Oh fair do’s then” Peter muttered with a soft laugh and a smile.

Harley noticed the complete lack of reaction and poked his spiderboyf in the ribs, ”You okay, sweetheart?”

“Never better” he replied once again in the airy light tone.

Peter then looked up at the group and said “I really do hope you enjoyed the trip, now if you will excuse me a coma is calling. See you Monday!” And he dragged Harley with him down the hall to their bedroom.

“On that note if you would all kindly _finally_ enter into the elevator to go to the gift shop, some of us have places to be people to interrogate…” Leah announced losing her own patience at having to deal with the group before she’s allowed to question what the fuck is up and why she of all the interns is getting promoted to such a high position.

The students waved their goodbyes to the the Starks and the three other teenagers as they entered the lift ready to descend. Apart from Flash who just wanted an excuse to linger in the pent house.

“So Leah, you British? Do you like tea and crumpets?”

“Go suck a nut candle noodle dick” Shuri yelled over from where she was laying on the coffee table. Sometimes it was best not to ask.

“So is that a yes?”

“So help me God, Eugene if you don’t get in the goddamn lift boy I promise I will curb stomp ur knees in”

Flash gulped and got in the lift and Friday took them to the floor with the gift shop where Leah gave them five minutes to purchase souvenirs. She then whisked them outside where their school bus was waiting to take them back to Midtown High.

“Thank you for the unconventional tour Miss, I apologise for the behaviour of certain certain students” Mr Harrington spoke sounding jittery and full of pent up anxiety, poor dude.

“No worries, just get a therapist mate” she replied with a pat on the shoulder before walking away leaving the man nodding to himself, “yeah, yes that- that I will do”

It was only 15 minutes after the group had left the pent houses when MJ received a text from Betty reading “Mr Harrington has finally lost his shit, can I get an F in the chat” she snorted and replied with an “F” and put her phone down.

**// TIME SKIP //**

Peter and Harley had been in bed cuddling for about an hour and a half but neither of the boys could actually fall asleep after the nerve wrecking and disastrous ( _Peter’s words_ ) day.

The southern boy had preoccupied himself with tracing mindless patterns on Peter’s back while the latter turned his thoughts to the last thing his dad had said to him and his entire class.

Everything was finally sinking in and Peter’s eyes widened as he shot up into a sitting position shouting

“WAIT, WHAT THE FRICK FRACK SNICK SNACK PADDY WHACK CRACKER JACK BAREBACK NICK NACK FLAP JACK **FUCK** -”

**END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sequel time motherfuckers?
> 
> I have ideas to create a series and plenty more insults, not sure if I should continue and run with this 
> 
> Thank you for reading this fic tho if u got this far lmao, if u did i love u marry me


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good day lovelys, I am turning this into a series and the second one is up, not sure if you'd call it a sequel but the plan is to make small oneshots based upon this fic under the series name Peter Parker's Doing His Bestpacito :)

I am also doing my bestpacitio, thank you for the wonderful support on my first fic lads :)


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